When teenagers are being disrespectful and rude

A swearing, uncooperative, moody, angry and defiant teenager… It may seem like your teen is rebelling against your values and beliefs, and being disrespectful on purpose. But in reality, they may be simply trying to figure out who they are as they transition from childhood to adulthood. So if you're wondering how to deal with your teenage daughter's attitude, or how to deal with your difficult teenage son, first of all it's helpful to understand more about what's going on.

What does disrespect and rudeness look like?

As teenagers try to work out their place in the world, they can often become moody or upset if their views are questioned. You may fear any conversation may set them off.

Your teen's disrespectful and rude behaviour may include:

• Talking back or arguing
• Swearing or using offensive language
• Wearing clothing you think is offensive
• Making demands rather than asking
• Refusing or ignoring requests

Why do teenagers seem disrespectful and rude?

Your teenager will want to talk about what they see, hear and read about, as they struggle to make sense of it all. So what seems to you like rudeness and disrespect may just be your teenager trying out ideas and opinions that are interesting or attractive to them.

Factors that may influence the way your teenager behaves include:

• If you directly challenge or make fun of your teenager's ideas about a certain issue, you may provoke them into trying to prove you wrong
• Your teenager may try out new ways of speaking, acting or dressing (at home or with their peers) to see if it gets them what they want, but overreacting may provoke a stubborn or resentful response
• If you do not set fair limits about appropriate behaviour at home, school, and in other social situations, your teen is less likely to be co-operative and polite

…or maybe all of these things happen at once!